Wow, it’s been a month! And I’m finally ready to tackle 2018
goal #5: Find a Job That Makes Me Feel Valued and Pays Me What I’m Worth.
I’ve worked at my current job (in accounting) for almost 12
years. I started as a temp in June of 2006 – a week after I moved to Cincinnati
for good (third time’s a charm!) – and was hired on “officially” in January of
2007. I work with some amazing people, and I wouldn’t trade that part for the
world. I definitely enjoy certain parts of my job too, like the research
related aspects; the things that keep my mind focused and engaged.
For a while now, though, I’ve been in a state where my role
feels very stagnant. As an accountant, I typically perform the same functions
daily, weekly, and monthly, but over the past few months, even my usual job
duties have begun to dwindle. This has left me feeling underutilized and undervalued
as an employee. I’ve often wondered if they have been winding down my
responsibilities so they can eventually get rid of me.
Recently, I’ve been trying to be more proactive, inside and
outside of work. For instance, I’ve taken part in many the “Leadership
Development” options the company offers, but so far I’m not seeing any results
from it (at least as far as it helping my case goes). I do enjoy the classes,
so it does give me something to look forward to when I go to work, but I wish I
could understand why it seems like they have lost faith in my abilities. We
have annual reviews, and my reviews have always been super positive, so I
genuinely don’t understand where it comes from or if it even means anything
negative. I mean, maybe my perception is off and they do have something planned
for me? Either way, all of this has all left me with a significant amount of
self-doubt, particularly when it comes to pursuing greener pastures.
I’ve always been too hard on myself. When I do something
well, I typically think, “Anyone can do this.” If myself and 100 other people
are vying for the same job, we’re likely going to have similar educational
backgrounds, and be team players or detail-oriented or great multi-taskers. So I
find it difficult to pinpoint what sets me apart from others. This is
especially true if I’m if competing for a role in an industry in which I may
not have the ideal experience the company is looking for. How will my current skillset
translate? What am I great at that other people may not do as well and might
make your life easier? I have my MBA, but so far it has just been a glorified
and expensive piece of paper.
Historically, I’ve also been the type of perfectionist that
has lived by the adage, “If I can’t do this perfectly, I’d rather not do it at
all.” This has made me a jack-of-all-trades, master of none type. I feel like I’m
ready to branch out now; to fly, but I’m not sure I’m ready for the insecurity
that often comes with a new job at a time when I really need to have a steady,
stable income to tackle my debt load. I also have an unfortunate amount of debt
(oh past mistakes), so presently there’s no way I would be able to take less than
I do now. It makes me feel stuck.
So I’ve been spending a lot of time trying to figure out
what I want out of life with respect to my career, and how I might be able to
use the experience I already have to discover my next calling. I know I need to
make some proactive changes. I can’t afford, mentally or financially, to let
things go on as they have been. But what to do?
People always say, “Do what you love and the rest will
follow!” My struggle has usually been that I’m passionate about numerous
things, but many of those things are in industries that don’t historically pay
well. And I love money! Strangely, I do know accounting is probably not
something I want to continue further, at least as far as pursuing my CPA, which
is pretty much what you need in order to achieve executive level status these
days, at least in a mid to large-sized company. Realistically, accounting was
never my first choice, though. At the time I was considering it as an option,
it was more of a, “What can I do in order to get out of food service, but still
make as much money as possible, as quickly as possible?” I was experiencing
food service burn out, and wanted to pursue something a bit more stable, but I
didn’t have any interest in restaurant management at the time. Accounting
seemed to fit the bill, and be a great skill to possess. It’s an industry that
will always be kicking. I don’t hate it. I just long for something a bit more
creative and innovative. Something I can feel really passionate about.
Part 2 coming shortly…
